Insincere Apology Marks Suxco Anniversary apologized today for its previous press release retraction. In a move that has many industry insiders scratching their heads, Suxco representatives are retracting their former retraction.

"Even though the availability of Suxco executives is still questionable, I would like to say this," said alleged Suxco executive David Sorbrows. "We formally apologize for our position on the uncertainty revolving around our ability to uniquely position ourselves to take advantage of the gaping hole left in the marketplace by our previous absence.

 "I like pants," said Reich Neffcopp, an employee of, Suxco's sister organization. "I always have, but now with this latest unretraction, Im more sure than ever."

 Suxco's latest desperate move to attract traffic to their website through repetitive press release retraction is being hailed as the next step in the company's development.

 About has been providing products, if not services, since the time of its first press release. The company was founded upon one simple and profound principle: Somewhere, there's someone, who thinks something sucks. The flexible, laser-like focus of this mission statement enables Suxco to maximize customer satisfaction.

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