makes unbelievably boring announcement.’s latest announcement has been met with apathy and in some extreme cases, complete indifference. In a move that has many industry insiders stifling yawns, Suxco representatives have unveiled the latest in a series of progressively uninteresting statements.

Company representative David Sorbrows summed up the company’s strategy. "As long as someone keeps reading our press releases, we feel we’ve met our projected objectives, which only reinforces our decision to keep providing the kind of service the media typically ignores.”  

“I’m so pleased Suxco’s announcements have finally reached the level of tedium we all knew they were capable of achieving”, said an employee of, Suxco’s sister organization.

 Suxco's contribution to the ever growing mass of spiritless press releases is being hailed as the next step in the company's development.

About has been providing products, if not services, since the time of this press release. The company was founded upon one simple and profound principle: Somewhere, there's someone, who thinks something sucks. The flexible, laser-like focus of this mission statement enables Suxco to maximize customer satisfaction through short term longevity.

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